No news is ok news

I am not writing to you from my home. Nor do I have any real news to share. But so many of you sent me emails today with happy homeward wishes that I wanted to write and let you know we are ok. Thank you for being so involved in this with me. It is helping; I can feel you rooting for us.

The ANC went down to 403 this morning, which really is not bad, but just not good enough to get us out. I am thrilled it didn't plummet and I think there is reason to be hopeful we will be back above 500 tomorrow. We need two days in a row to get out of here, though, so now Friday would be our earliest departure. I was disappointed when I got the counts first thing this morning, but I am okay now and mentally settled in for a few more days. Emphasis on few.

I also haven't gotten any word on the pathology report from the bone marrow biopsy, which I was sort of waiting for in case I could share that news today. Hopefully tomorrow.

The Candlelighters had a free pizza dinner for the families here tonight, which is both nice and depressing. The Candlelighters is a group devoted to helping families through their children's cancer treatment. Obviously, you don't want to be anywhere near that. But I was hungry and the nursing assistant offered to sit with Samson while I grabbed some pizza and hightailed it back to our room to continue to pretend I don't live on a pediatric cancer ward.

And here in my room, my little number four is doing so well: he is happy, breathing great, and looking like a healthy baby with a lot of hardware on his chest. Eating is still a struggle. I am not sure whether it is a taste issue -- supposedly chemo and radiation screw up the tastebuds -- or whether it is a nausea issue, or a little of both, but I think we just have to keep trying and he will get back on board soon. He has also continued to have rashes that come and go and really bug him. The rashes were worse with his red blood cell transfusion on Monday and his IVIG infusion yesterday, but they were still there today, which looks more like GVH. So far, it continues to be mild enough that we are treating the symptoms with benadryl rather than adding more immunosuppressant drugs, which is great. Transplant patients are always on some, but the less the better.

Samson is laughing and blabbing away right now. Whenever we get a visitor, in the form of a nurse or doctor or maintenance person, he is thrilled by the change of scene, lame as it is, a pair of eyes over a yellow mask. He was also briefly unhooked from his IV lines today, for the first time in 29 days, and he seemed riveted by the view from the other side of our room, where his lines don't usually reach. I think he will be very happy to have the visual stimulation of home, if not the constant noise.

Here's hoping for some positive developments tomorrow. No news is ok; good news is better.